Not For Me
by Blood Red Kiss of Death
Summary: The kids hear a fight that may break their family apart.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** 'Gossip Girl' belongs to Cecily von Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, and the CW. No copyright infringement intended. Title from Backstreet Boys' _Not For Me_.  
**Timeline:** post 2x11  
**Rating: **T  
**Summary:** The kids hear a fight that may break their family apart.

* * *

Eric van der Woodsen stared back and forth between the closed doors of his siblings' bedrooms. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. It had the opposite effect. Instead of the yelling quieting, it grew louder. His eyes opened with a sigh.

He turned right and opened the door to his sister's room. She looked up and their eyes met for a second before he moved away and went left towards his stepbrother's room.

Again, Eric opened the door, but instead of standing at the door, he entered and climbed onto the bed beside Chuck.

Chuck looked up from the book he was reading and watched his stepbrother's movements.

The only sound came from somewhere downstairs from their parents.

Serena watched her younger brother and saw him enter Chuck's room. She knew what he wanted. Standing up, she left her bedroom, closed the door, entered Chuck's room and quietly closed the door behind her to try to muffle out the sound.

It did. Slightly.

Serena moved toward the king-size bed. Chuck put his book on the nightstand and moved left to make more room. Eric followed and their sister hopped in, lying against a pillow.

The threesome lay in their own silence as they listened to the argument unfolding below them.

A minute passed. Two. Five. Ten minutes went by before anyone broke the inner silence.

It was Serena.

The blond sat up and turned to her brothers. "So, you read now, Chuck?" she asked, nodding to the book on the nightstand.

"On occasion," he replied without a witty comeback to her obvious bate. He didn't have the energy in him to try to banter the yells away.

Serena took a deep breath, crossed her legs Indian style and faced the boys. "Is this bad?"

Eric closed his eyes.

Chuck nodded. "What do you think?" he asked her sincerely.

"Yeah. But when mom and the latest husband or boyfriend get into a shouting match, we're usually out of here before it gets this bad and lasts this long." Serena took a deep breath. "That's gonna be a sign, right?"

Chuck lifted himself up on his elbows. "Sure, Serena, a sign. That a divorce is coming."

Eric opened his eyes and shook his head. "No. I don't believe it. The fact that they're still having a conversation -"

"It's not a conversation," Serena whispered.

"But you just said…"

"No, maybe Chuck's right. I'm sure the only reason they're still at it is because Bart's not like the others. It's only a matter of time," Serena fell to her side and uncrossed her legs. "It really seemed like it would last this time around," she mumbled into the bed.

It was Eric who shot up this time. "Since when have you ever cared about this marriage, Serena? Remember the house-warming party? And before then, with the rules? You purposefully went against them to rebel against the family. Why do you care all of a sudden?" he shouted, enraged.

Serena turned to lay flat on her back and stared up at the ceiling. "I. I… I don't know. Because after the party, mom seemed like she really was trying this time around. It really felt like a family," she chocked on a sob.

The room went silent again. And instead of more disaster waiting to happen, Chuck grabbed the remote control off his nightstand and turned his flat screen on. He went up the channels until he spotted _Casino Royale_ on Showtime. It was only the beginning, and the action-packed car chase was able to drown out the voices from their parents.

Eric lay back down on the bed between his siblings and focused on the screen.

They would just have to weather the storm together.

**tbc**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** 'Gossip Girl' belongs to Cecily von Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, and the CW. No copyright infringement intended. Title from Backstreet Boys' _Not For Me_.  
**Timeline:** post 2x11

* * *

"What are you doing?" Bart questioned as he followed his wife up the stairs.

"I'm looking for my children," Lily snapped as she opened the door to her daughter's bedroom.

It was empty, with only a text book on the bed.

Lily closed the door and turned to her stepson's door where the television was audible. Ignoring her husband's glare, she opened the door and gasped at the sight of their three children. She turned to look at her husband.

Bart shook his head, left the hallway, and went downstairs.

Lily entered the room, turned off the TV, and walked out. She shut the door and hurried downstairs.

She found her husband entering the elevator and rushed over. "Where are you going?"

"Out."

The elevator closed.

Lily stood there, staring at the entrance, confused: by her marriage, the children, and Bart's reaction.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at her surroundings. She was in an UES apartment. Her kids were all resting together, no doubt because of the loud _conversation_ between her and Bart, about their rocky marriage. She didn't know how to fix it, or even if she wanted to.

Turning on her heel, she left the entrance way and went back up the stairs. Instead of checking on the kids or going to her bedroom, she stepped into Bart's office. She knew of the files on her, Serena, and Eric, but what else did Bart have up his sleeve? What else was her husband hiding from her, from everyone?

She strolled up to the safe and took a deep breath. Did she really want to know what was behind the lock? Yes, of course she did.

What was that combination? Eric had mentioned it to her when he dropped the files in front of her. What was it again?

Lily looked around the office and her gaze caught sight of a framed photograph on his desk. She went over and picked it up. It was of a young woman, early twenties. She'd seen that face before. Blinking, she set the photo down when she realized that it was Charles' mother; that he looked just like her. And then the combination came to her. _8 7 69_.

The vault opened easily and Lily's eyes swept over the contents. Then she found files. She flipped through them, none keeping her interest. She opened the drawers, which weren't exciting either.

She wondered where Bart kept the file on his son. She didn't know why she was suddenly so curious as to what her stepson had been up to in 17 years, but the picture on the desk and Bart and Charles' relationship suddenly made her want to know.

So she went through the office. Nothing. Where else would he keep something as important as that file? His office? He was probably there, but she was going to check it out anyway.

Leaving the home office, she listened for any sounds of anyone awake. None.

She left the apartment and hailed a cab to take her to Bass Industries.

It was empty, what with it being Saturday, and the weekend following Thanksgiving no less.

She strolled to Bart's door and went in without knocking. It wouldn't have mattered. She could easily say she wanted to talk some more. But luckily for her, her husband was not in.

She did a visual sweep of the room until it occurred to where the other safe would be.

Lily removed the large picture frame of Bass Industries' first building and there it was. She tried the code again, but it did not work. Nor did she know how many numbers it held. She tried Bart's birthday. _Error._ And then she decided on Charles. May. 1991. What was the day?_ 19_.

She blinked at the realization that her stepson's birthday was the day of her wedding.

5 19 91. _Click_.

With a deep breath, she opened the vault and stared. Folders upon folders lay inside. She began flipping through file names and finally spotted a file larger than hers, Eric's, and Serena's combined. She pulled it out before she even read the name.

Instead of moving to the desk, she plotted right down on the floor and began reading every word. One way to understand the parent: Through his child.

She knew she wasn't the best parent or the most attentive, but she talked with her children, spent time with them, had fun – when she was around and single. From what she could see between her husband and her stepson, they barely spoke. Hell, they had been living in separate hotel suites since Bart bought The Palace Hotel almost two years ago.

For the next two hours, Lily read every word and viewed every image of the folder.

Serena had claimed that Lily didn't know the _real_ Chuck Bass, and she was right. There was an uncountable number of parent-teacher conferences, detentions, suspensions, and arrests. The arrests were all properly sealed and would never be mentioned nor be able to be used against Chuck. Suspensions had been paid off, never to be seen by college recruiters.

The drug list was long. It appeared that her stepson had tried, at least once, most street drugs. Lily knew about the marijuana. She knew that Serena had been involved with cocaine, so that she was prepared for that. But there were so many; most of them never used again.

And then there were the Bass employees. Pages about an au pair Charles had at age 13 who was terminated immediately when Bart returned from a business trip and caught them having sex. Numerous maids and other servants whom Charles had slept with were recorded.

If Lily had been a proper Upper East Side mother, she would have been shocked. Alas, her own groupie days had lessened the blow, but to say it had no effect on her as a mother would classify her as heartless. No, it was like getting dumped with a bucket of ice water. His record was a cry for help. And it wasn't that her husband hadn't answered, because the man _had_ gotten his son out of the impossible each time; but it was never in a loving, paternal way that involved more than cover-ups and money.

One of the most shocking things to learn was when her stepson lost his virginity. He was 11! The concept boggled her mind. She couldn't even imagine her 16-year-old having sex – well, for multiple reasons. And on top of that, it had been that retched girl Georgina Sparks. Not only had she corrupted Lily's daughter, but she stole Charles' innocence! Lily was furious and knew she would question Serena later on what happened with that _girl_.

As she set the file aside, she noticed a sheet of paper that was lying on the carpet. She picked it up and flipped it over. It was a birth certificate. Lily's eyes glanced at it and as she went to set it down on the pile, she stopped and brought it back to her gaze.

Something was missing.

There was no mother's signature. That was unusual because both parents had to sign the document.

And then she tried to remember what the woman had done in the beginning and where were the papers about Charles dealing with his mother's death; no pictures of a dark haired, dark eyed woman and a similar looking son.

Lily ended up riffling through the beginning, but there was no sign of a mother.

Instantly, Lily was up on her feet and rummaging back through the safe, trying to find information about the man's first wife.

Finally, in the bottom drawer was a file labeled _**BASS, MISTY**_. Lily grabbed it and began skimming the file. Pictures galore; some of them containing a smiling and happy Bart – an image not even Lily had seen.

At the end was a death certificate.

One glance and the piece of paper fell out of her hands as Lily realized the safe combination was not Bart's son's birthday, but the man's wife's death date.

The woman had died in childbirth; Charles had never known his mother, contrary to societal belief of the woman's death around the time the boy started kindergarten.

It seemed like neither she nor her husband could overcome their past love. She might have continued going to Rufus, but Bart was still very much in love with his dead wife.

She picked up every last document and photograph and returned them to their correct position in the vault.

She needed to return home; needed to talk to her husband. Somehow, they would have to figure _something_ out. However, she had no clue what the ending result would be.

* * *

**TBC**


End file.
